


If You Can't Stand the Heat, Get Out of the Church

by ereshai



Series: Various Prompt Fills [17]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, First Meetings, M/M, Pre-Slash, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2018-02-19 13:52:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2390705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ereshai/pseuds/ereshai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two miserable people meeting at a wedding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Can't Stand the Heat, Get Out of the Church

**Author's Note:**

> Writtten for an AU prompt meme on tumblr, and previously posted there.  
> Hover over the Russian words for a translation.  
> I don't know how miserable they actually are...

Phil ran a finger under his collar. As much as he enjoyed wearing a suit in general, it was too hot to be wearing a tuxedo. He didn’t dare take off the jacket; his shirt was damp with sweat. Why were Jasper and Maria getting married in this tiny church with no air-conditioning? It wasn’t really their style.

Señora Sitwell and Mrs. Hill walked past him toward the front of the church, chatting happily and fanning themselves vigorously with their matching lace fans – a gift from Maria. And that was it. The church wedding was important to both Jasper’s mother and Maria’s mother, and the couple was more than willing to go along with their wishes. Too bad it was unseasonably hot.

Phil was sharing best man duties – such as they were – with Nick, who was sitting in his car with the windows rolled up and the AC blasting. Melinda was with him. Natasha, her co-bridesmaid – _bridal attendant_ – hadn’t arrived yet; a little late, but no one was worried. At all. Jasper had only asked Phil if he’d heard from her twice.

“I don’t get why _I_ have to be here, Nat,” an unfamiliar voice said from the vestibule. “I don’t even know anyone here.”

“You know me.” That was Natasha. The door swung open, and there she was in her floofy pink dress (not chosen by Maria, as she was constantly reminding everyone; another concession to maternal wishes), followed closely by a man Phil had not met before. He was blond and the way his arms and shoulders strained at the thin fabric of his dress shirt…the only reason Phil was licking his lips was because his upper lip was beaded with sweat.

“That’s not enough reason to attend a total stranger’s wedding!” The man’s gaze flicked over to Phil.

Natasha grabbed him by the chin, pulling the man’s attention back to her. “You’ve met Maria and Melinda, идиот.”

“And they’re both in the damn wedding. C’mon, Nat.” Pouting shouldn’t be so attractive on a grown man.

“If I have to suffer the heat in this смешно dress, you must suffer with me, especially if you want to party after. Bro code.” Natasha finally acknowledged Phil. “Coulson, this is my friend, Clint Barton. Clint, this is Phil Coulson. He is one of Jasper’s best men.”

Clint looked Phil up and down, and he grinned. “Nice to meet you, Phil.”

“Nice to meet you, too.” Phil held out his hand. Clint shook it briefly, but he didn’t let go.

“And now you know someone else here,” Natasha said as she swept through the door into the nave. “Clint, stay out of trouble until I come and find you again.”

“It doesn’t count if he’s in the wedding, too,” Clint yelled after her. He was still holding Phil’s hand, and Phil gently tugged free.

“So, Phil. You come here often?”

Wait. Was Clint hitting on him? “Only when one of my best friends is getting married,” Phil replied. He resisted the urge to run his fingers under his collar again.

“What about the reception after? Sounds like it’s the place to be. Nat’s gonna let her hair down. I promised her I’d drive her home after.”

 “Of course. The whole wedding party will be there.”

“Save me a dance?”

Huh? “Sure,” he said, before his brain caught up with him.

“Great. Something to look forward to. See ya there, Phil.” Clint sauntered into the nave and somehow managed to sprawl in one of the pews.

Something to look forward to, indeed.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Translation courtesy of Google. Let me know if it's completely buggered.


End file.
